Dilemma

So, many changes are currently happening in Singapore. From Phase 2 of Circuit Breaker (yay and nay) to the upcoming General Elections (amidst the pandemic?! Oh yeah sure, strike it while the iron is hot) Many stories for another day. I can’t help but to be bothered by other bigger things in my personal life, not that the above mentioned are not big enough. 

Recently, I’ve been getting some responses from my previous organisation, going for interviews and casual chat sessions. While I’m eagerly waiting out for the results of the interviews, I find myself being in a dilemma... You see, I’m always seeking out new challenges especially when I find myself getting too comfortable at a job, seeking out avenues for progression, promotion or even higher salaries. Am I being too career-minded? Not too sure about that but most women in SG are hence the lower and/or later birth rates. 

I’m currently at the crossroads; To pursue a job that might potentially lead to a better career progression but no work-life balance or choose the other that has a better work-life balance but unsure of its career progression. This thought has been bogging me down for the past 2 weeks. Let's face it, I’m already 34 and this year would be my 3rd year of marriage. Is it high time I should start thinking of settling down as a family unit? I know I’m not getting any younger and my friends have been urging me to start planning. Honestly, it’s scary whenever I think about it. Am I financially ready? Am I ready to be a Mom? I mean, talking about being responsible for a human being for almost 21 years? Since 2 years ago, I find myself asking my friends who are now mothers themselves, “Are you ready? Are you prepared?” They’d all say the same thing, you will never ever be ready or prepared no matter how much prep work you have done. Wait, what? Just jump into it and think about it later? That surely would be scary as hell! 

It sure took me a while pen such personal thoughts and I’m having a tummy ache thinking about it right now.